There ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them
Mark Twain
I would like to paraphrase it to “There ain’t a no surer way to find out if the people you travel with, view the world as you do”
Not the typical destination guide.
Bali. I finally ended up in Bali.
Some people dream about going to New York, California or Maldives. To me, Bali was always on the top of my WishList. You would ask Why? Why Bali? Well, I just always felt some strong connection with this sacred place. I always felt deep in my heart that Bali will make my soul happy. A peaceful, spiritual place, where people smile and no one cares what clothes you wear and what are your achievements. A world, free from the superficial.
THE BACKSTORY
It was October. I was still living in Hong Kong. I was feeling so lonely and anxious. All of my safe people for one or another reason weren’t in the city with me.
Hong Kong is a city where people come and go. And it should be like this.
Being so far from everyone I love, very unhappy with my life right there and trying to keep it all together. I would avoid being by myself and I would try to always be surrounded by people. Little, I understood the importance of cultivating my energy.
I am a big believer in Visualisation. I have seen the effects many times in my life. I had all of those travel magazines at home and I would cut a picture from a very beautiful poolside villa in Bali and stick it on the wall next to my bed. I would see it first thing when I open my eyes in the morning and last thing at night.
Long story short. Things worked out for me or I made them work. Visualisation works only if YOU take some actions. I ended up, in a look-alike villa as in the magazine. It was stunning. Bali was everything I imagined and much more.
And now, I will make the connection with the quote at the beginning. The bad story turned good, but not fully. Any place you go to if you are not with the right company, the place itself can’t compensate for it. Me and my friend, we weren’t on the same page about what is a good vacation. For me, my great vacations include good food, sport, new activities (riding a horse on the beach, doing pottery, seeing the view from the top of the hill, waking up for the sunset) For her a good vacation was sleeping till late, eating good food and staying home until its time to check the sunset from a bar and partying at the club till late. There is no right or wrong category. I just know myself better now.
I was a bit younger and I had the trouble speaking out loud my truth.
When you always try to play the game, don’t disappoint your friends putting your needs as a priority, you end up disappointing yourself. And it feels way worse. Instead of doing all the things I wanted, I decided to stay a faithful friend and do all the thing my friend wanted. Going to parties where it was clear I didn’t enjoy to be at. At one of the clubs, even a stranger I talked with, told me “You don’t have any obligation to be here. If you don’t feel like it, don’t force yourself.
I can’t tell you which waterfalls you Must visit or anything about the rice terraces. I can tell you all about the clubs there and the party people.
No doubt, those are the most amazing sunsets I have a witness with my eyes.
My friendship with this girl didn’t last. As you probably have already guessed.
I still truly believe, there are so many good-hearted people because I meet them every day. And as long as I am true to my values, those people stick around me.
It’s not something you deal with all at once, it takes practice. Saying No to a friend is always hard.
It takes a lot of courage to say NO.
Time is the most valuable assets we have. The way you live your days will be the way you live your life. Sometimes saying NO to someone, is the best option for you.
In my everyday life I start asking myself some of those questions:
- What is important to me? What is my ideal day look like?
- What habits do I want to focus on?
- Do I feel elevated in this person’s presence?
- Do I want to spend 1-2 more hours, doing this?
Nowadays, I refuse to waste my time and energy on people that don’t lift me and activities that don’t bring excitement in me.
So, I guess my trip to Bali, gave me a precious lesson.
What about you? What is stopping you to lead your best authentic life?
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